Today Milli is 18 weeks 3 days old...you don't have to be a mathematician to know we are approaching the 20 week marker. 20 weeks just kinda freaks me out a little...

To fill those of you who might not know, 20 weeks was when I had major complications with my first pregnancy. I remember it was a Monday morning, early, like 4 am, and I woke up bleeding...pretty bad...it wasn't painful at all, but it was really scary. I called the doctor and went into labor and delivery (this is a part of the hospital). I remember that Stephen dropped me off to park the car, so I went up to L&D by myself, the nurse said can I help you? and I just burst into tears...they took me back to a room and hooked me up to a bunch of monitors, and sure enough I was contracting (although I didn't know it b/c they weren't painful...) after a couple terbutaline shots, which make your heart race, my nurse and now friend Kay, checked my cervix, and it was only a "finger tip" long. For those of you that don't know cervix talk, the "normal" pregnant woman is supposed to have about 4 cm of cervix until they go into labor and then the cervix thins out (effaces) and then opens (dilating)...

I was in the hospital for about 4 days, and I remember on the first day after they got my contractions somewhat under control, someone told me I was going to be on bedrest for the rest of my pregnancy...I didn't really know what that meant at the time...but man did I find out...

I was so scared from that point on, that I religiously laid in bed for 12 weeks. I only got up to go to the bathroom and take a shower. I ate laying down and never left the house (unless to go to the hospital or doctor)...around 34 or 36 weeks I started to lighten up and not be quite so scared...and Kaylyn came at 38 weeks and 4 days...

I made many other trips to the hospital, at 24 1/2 weeks I broke through my oral terbutaline and was in the hospital on Magnesium for about 3 days and sent home with a pump in my leg, that only lasted about a week, then I was admitted to the hospital for 2 straight weeks on Magnesium again, until I got to 28 weeks...after 28 weeks most babies can survive...

Right now I am on modified bed rest, which I take to mean, take it easy, don't do house work, and lay down as much as I can...I pray I don't have to go through all I went through to have Kaylyn, but I know that if I can do it once I can do it again...and I owe it to the little boy inside me to do my best...