I know I haven't posted in a while...usually when I don't post, it is a bad sign...b/c it means I don't even feel like getting on the computer. Well I have had more bad days. Friday and Saturday where pretty good. I took my procardia, was able to get some sleep, I thought things were going to be ok for a while. Why, right when I think things are going to be ok do they do a 180 and just go to crap? why? So Sunday night was bad...but I ended up having to take my procardia and some ventilin (my doctor said if I was having cramping/contractions that I could take both). So the ventilin gave me some relief...I thought maybe I just needed one dose of the ventilin to get back on track...but it was like the procardia was not doing it's job...so I continued to take both medicines...bad news is that both of these medicines in my system make my heart flip out...this morning I thought I was going to have to call 911...it was bad, but Stephen helped me calm down and he got my heart racing at a "reasonable" rate (whatever that is). So I am once again going to try and go without the procardia. Last time I tried to stop the procardia I wasn't sticking to taking the ventilin every 4 hours (I was trying to take it every 6 hours). So this time I am going to stick with every 4 hours around the clock and hopefully will be able to stabilize myself. Don't you just wish you were me? I bet. So tomorrow I am going to the doctor. Hopefully nothing has changed and I don't have to go to the hospital. I am almost 25 weeks...just a few more weeks...please...

Stephen took Kaylyn to the zoo today, I think they had alot of fun, although they got rained on a little bit. When I was pregnant with Kaylyn I wanted to go shopping or out to eat etc. so bad...this time I just wish I could do stuff with Kaylyn...I would have loved to go to the zoo with her. I want to be able to play with her again...that is one of the worst things about this situation. I feel so guilty not being able to care for her. Stephen has to do it all. He is doing a great job.