The second I take something for granted, it is gone…at least with this pregnancy. I went to the doctor today thinking things would be as they had been before…check my cervix, baby looks good…etc…not the case today. My blood pressure was up, not good for a pregnant woman, it went down the second time they checked it, but then during the ultrasound the doctor told me my amniotic fluid was lower…she said it was ok for now, that the baby is not in danger, he weighs 3lb 6oz…but seriously…I can’t do anything about it (not like I can do anything about any of my problems). I am just so frustrated and so so so very depressed. I have now been on strict bed rest for 70 days…this doesn’t include my time on modified bed rest that is an additional 52 more days…122 days of worry and everything else. Needless to say I have cried many times today, probably 10 or so. I want so badly for milli to be a full term baby, healthy, like Kaylyn, but I am seriously concerned, especially with my newest problems. My doctor said she will be extremely aggressive until I hit 32 weeks (Aug 25th)…that is unless the amniotic fluid or blood pressure issues increase. She also told me I should do the c-section, so Stephen and I decided in her office that I would go ahead with the c-section, so now I can stop thinking about it, I am doing it and that is that. Overall it was a crummy doctors appointment…depressing…it is like I want this to be over, but at the same time I want it to last for millimeter’s sake…

For those of you that don’t know, Stephen got a new job back in March and now works from home, so he is here with me all day almost everyday (unless he is out of town, then my mom is here)…it has been a true blessing, I think I would definitely be worse off if he weren’t here to calm me down and talk to me. I guess that should remind me that someone is looking out for me (and milli) and that God truly won’t give me anything more than I can handle.